A jolt to see today's calendar with its wonderful number "1." Could anything be more hopeful? Yes, it could also mean another month, more hours, of grief--it can always mean that. But for me, now, it means the next beginning, the next chance.

And just like the doubleness of beginnings, April, demure, teasing, arrives as a day of tricks, reminding us we're all fools of nature, and the jokes we play on each other are wee echoes of the biggest joke of all.  April, like all promises, is fraught--will it happen? when? how? Since we cannot trust the future, we rely on the past, on our memory of blossoming, of leaves unfurling--flags of the new country of spring--of the wonderful assertion of flowers that the world will be splendid with color and perfume, that after the long months of disappearance, of winter driving us into ourselves, of it making it clear that the world will be stripped naked and that beauty will be severe, geometric, stark, and surprising--that after the day after day gray and cold, the eye will be rewarded, that abundance will return.

It's not so bad to be on the tightrope in a blossoming world. If I fall, I fall into flowers.

Denise Smyth
4/1/2013 02:20:44 am

"It's not so bad to be on the tightrope in a blossoming world. If I fall, I fall into flowers."

This morning, when I went out to walk my dogs, I was torn between the chill and the tinge of warmth in the air. The chill feels safe; I will go inside, snuggle under the covers. But I had to admit that the ever-so-faint warmth intrigued me. Inside, I looked closely at Nadiya's orchids. Outside will be blossoming soon, I thought; I will enjoy it. I will go sit among the flowers.

Why, I wonder, has it taken grief to bring me here? Better to come to life, then, than not at all.

Allan DiBiase
4/1/2013 09:20:23 am

April 1: One would be fool to not see some promise in it.

And it was that kind of day. Greg Adamo's and my book contract from Peter Lang arrived! We had given up hope. But it needs adjustments in terms of projected deadlines. For sure.

Plus I think I made a major step forward on the Thoreau Society presentation this morning in Ambulations.

And got offers today to play on a few programs later in Ap;ril.

So the promise is in part of being busy. Falling on a bed of rose petals would be also be nice.


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